Normal

I've started multiple posts on this subject, but have discarded them because I started to sound like a blow-hard know it all, but I think now is the time to add my two cents;

I've heard and seen a lot of talk lately about wanting things to be normal again, trust me, I am VERRRRY familiar with this desire, I was so desperate for normal when I was in rehab, I was convinced that once I was home everything would click back to normal, HA! Total opposite.

Normal is familiar, comfortable and dependable, but. Here's what I learned about normal; After something like a stroke, pandemic, etc....normal is different and accepting the new reality and deciding to thoroughly enjoy it, is how it starts feeling normal. Once I accepted my new life and body as my life and made the choice to enjoy the shit out of it, my life started to settle into normalcy, I know things are weird and hard right now, but try and keep trying to enjoy it and it'll settle into something familiar, comfortable and dependable. And once we come out of this scary time, I think what's normal is going to look a lot different than we were used to.

Love,
Your seasoned Normal Warrior.

To be or not

I've been thinking a lot about acceptance lately, I've been reading a fantastic book:"Don't Leave me this Way Or: When I Get Back on My Feet You'll be sorry."by Julia Fox Garrison. She is hilarious and describes the aftermath of a stroke in ways I could never articulate, so it's great to have a book that I can hand people and say, "Read that part! That's what it's like!"

The only thing I'm having an issue with is her attitude towards her condition. From the sound of it, she was worse off than I was, they told her sh'd never walk again and I continually get words of reassurance that I will bounce back from this...someday. Garrison talks about her determination to be the person she was before the stroke, well, I wish for the same thing, but my question about that is, how can you ever be the same after a life-changing event? Like a medical catastrophe, birth or marriage? She so desperately wants to go back to "normal" she refuses to accept herself as is and kind of looks down on those that acept their post-stroke selves, Like I do, so am I wrong? There is something to be said for stubborn dtermination, but I think I'm healthier and doing better than I was when I was stuck wiahing and longing for Old Liz, because that person still inhabits this broken body. She is also far too concerned with how she looks to other people. Me? I don't give a shit, let them stare, ask and avoid eye contact and smile at me pityingly, I'm doin' my thang, being my bad self and raising a wonderful girl, in a post-stroke body that I will love and care for til the day I die, and I'll love everyday of my post-stroke life and that's a promise!