Over the course of the last three years, I've had these random moments where I've stepped outside of myself to look at my life.
At the beginning of this journey I've been on when this would occur my reaction was something akin to,
"what has happened to my life? Everything was so great, now, look at me."
Tonight as Charlotte and I were washing dishes together ( I was washing, she was splashing in the soapy water) I took a moment, stepped outside of myself and took a good long look at what was going on.
"I just want to be a real mom." was my mantra as I was adjusting to my new life, but tonight as I took that moment I realized, Oh my goddess, wait. I'm a real mom now, and I'm good at this, as Charlotte and were simply being in each others presence, I felt more satisfied with the state of my life than I ever have been, it was the simplest of moments,\; Water everywhere, Charlotte dumping cups of water into water, me hand washing dishes that wouldn't fit into the dishwasher, but, my gods, that was the most beautiful moment of myday, and in that moment, as I was looking at myself I said,
"What's happened to my life?! Everything seemed so dark and hopeless, now, look at me."
Never. Give. Up. Ever!
Love and light, my friends.