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                                                              The birth story take two

I've  been  relatively  quiet on charlotte`s birthday the last few years, at some point I  decided I didn't  want to  make  today about me,  because as far as I'm  concerned the most important  thing that happened  today, is charlotte`s safe arrival into this world, so. This year, her twelfth  year, I'd  like to rewrite my birth story with some time and  hindsight  under my belt, a clearer head and, hopefully less typos.

The birth story take two 

It was cold, dark morning when Matt and i left the house and  headed to the hospital for my scheduled 7 am Induction, my blood pressure  had been through the  roof at my last ob appointment , so midwife and  I decided  we couldn't for this  baby to come  on her own, we decided on a Foley induction,  a procedure that would slowly  dilate my cervix while the pitocin did its  work.

The pitocin kicked in around 8, my contraction s coming fast and hard, at one point, the nurses put me on a wireless monitor, so I could sit in the bathtub, once I was in there the pains were getting  very intense, in the midst of my wailing, Matt came in to tell me his mother and brother were there to see me,  but I told him to send them away, I felt I was in no condition for guests, eventually, i got out of the tub, made sure to poop, because I didn9 want to do it on a doctor once the main event began, I came out of the bathroom and  lay down on the bed, Matt  breathing  me through the contractions, then my midwife came and broke my water,  after that the contractions got more  intense, I started to get a headache, which Matt told me to let the  nurse know  about next  time  she came in, I was laying on the bed, focusing on the pattern on my pillowcase, holding Matt's  hand as he pleaded with me to resist the  urge to  push, the next thing I remember  is Matt standing next to me  asking  me what we should name the bab9yhe was holding  that I do not  remember  giving. Birth to,  that was two days after Charlotte  was born.

What I've been told that transpired after  I  lost consciousness is that, I was rushed off to have an emergcy c-section, then into an MRI,  then into brain surgery, to see what the heck was going on, which was, my brain had started  bleeding, forming a clot, on the right side of my brain, pushing my brain to the left of my skull, paralyzing my left arm and impairing my left leg, ankle and knee. through all of it, Charlottes heart rate stayed strong and steady. She was in the birth canal and had to be pushed out.

My time In The icu are hazy memories,  like a dream you can't  quite remember, but what I do remember but  is my room always being full of friends, family and  so much love and  support, even my addled brain registered it, I remember being amazed at the feat my body had just accomplished and how much I loved that tiny little soul who would get placed on my chest from time to  time.

In the early days of my rehabilitation. I felt sad, angry, sad and, st times times, hopeless, but through  it all charlotte's strong steadiness reminded me  why I was still here, now, twelve years later, I can confidently say  that November  2, 2011 was the best day of my life, it brought Charlotte to me and showed me how much strength and self acceptance  I have that I didn't know  was there. 

So, now, I have to say, no matter what life hands you, keep o  keeping on and remember, hope is the greatest tool you have at your disposal.

Love and light, y'all