Friday, April 26, 2013

Spring's Awakening

"Now is the winter of my discontent."

This is one of my favorite lines of Shakespeare from my favorite play, Richard III, and it's the phrase I repeated many tines over in the ICU, one of the things I did that reassured my family that all would be well.

I don't know about the rest of the world, but Michigan has had a verrrrry looooong winter this year and today spring sprang. As I manically cleaned the house today I thought about how much more invigorated I've been lately and how I'm kind of having a spring of my own.

There are many reasons I believe I've been feeling bett lately, here they are:

#1. I turned the TV off. Everyday after our morning routine, Charlotte and I would settle into the living room and I would turn the damn thing on and settle myself in front of it all. Day. Long.The other day, as I watched my little daughter gaze hypnotically at the bright flashing box, I thought to myself, "I watch too much TV, and so does she. So I decided to stop. For the past week After our morning family time, Charlotte and I settle into the living room and I turn on either Pandora or Spotify and we listen to music and play all day. This has improved my time in a lot of ways; I am more engaged and attentive when I'm interacting with her, so I notice more than I did befor, like, oh my God, I have got to clean that pack and play out! So I did! TV causes laziness and laziness begets laziness, so if I was considering cleaning something, I wouldn't if I sat down in front of that energy suck machine, in the past week I've cleaned Charlotte's room, the diningroom, the living room and the pack and Play. As a result of all of this I feel mor purposeful, more like the good mom I've been trying to be. I am also more clearheaded after a day of staring at Charlotte, rether than being all fdoggy after looking at the boob tubeall day. Because I'mmore willing to accomplish tasks throught the day, I feel mor purposeful and my days are less monotonous than they were.

#2 I'm becoming more comfortable with Liz 2.0. Sure Old Liz was a pretty cool chick, but, I decided this week that it's not worth my time and energy trying to be this person I'm not anymore and can't remember, it's like trying to behave like our 13 year-old selves, who can remember what that was like anymore? S I've arrived st this decision, anyone who doesn't like Liz2.0 can take her or leave her, because I think she's ok. She's mindful and present, always tries hard, is constantly trying to be the best person she can be, always does her best, perseveres and she's prwtty funny! The jokes are pretty bad, but that endearing, right?

#3The four Agreements.  If you are not familar with this book, read it! I've recently put this up on my computer desktop
 and I attempt to follow these rguidelines everyday, I actually read the book after I moved to CT, but I was for too into my own stuff at the time to be that mindfull, the kicker on thi is, Always do your best, I repeat that phrase to myself all day long and it pushes me to work harder, try harder, so I go to bed completely satisfied with my performance for the day, I have no regrets.

And at night when I askmyself, what was the vesst part of today? I have been saying, "all of it!"

Maybe she's found peace, finally!

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