Motherhood...Resumed

You know how I've wrestled with not feeling like much of a mother because of my physical limitations and because I wasn't able to be very involved at the beginning of Charlotte's life?

Well, something magical happened this morning. My friend from the co-op have a little playgroup that meets Friday mornings at a nearby playground, this morning my friend Sara picked Charlotte and I up, so we could play.

I got Charlotte up, fed and dressed with time to spare before Sara arrived, in fact, I have been getting Charlotte up all week this week, I'm trying to give Matt a break since he has pretty much been the only one of us whos been doing that from the beginning.

We went to the playgroud, it was packed, I was fearful, worried that I would lose track of Charlotte because it's hard for me to keep up with her, luckily, Sara had her  daughters, Hannah and Mary with her, both of whom love Charlotte and helped me watch her.

I sat on a bench and watched as Mary took Charlotte to the swings, I joined them, helping Mary push Charlotte who sqealed delightedly as she flew through the air.

Out little group then took a little break on top of a large hill, I walked Charlotte over there, at the bottom of the hill, I had a moment of doubt, would I be able to get up the steep incline to the top? That thought only exsisted for a moment, as I don't allow self-doubt like that to exsist in my brain for long before pushing it back, replacing it with reassurances of success, Hannah took Charlotte to the top for me and I began my climb, I got top the top without incident and wished I had a stadium sized crowd cheering for me, as that what was going on in my head, at that moment, the sun came out from behind the clouds it had been hiding behind, I sat down with my friends, enjoying the sunshine and the company and shared some grapes and water with my child snd friends. Once our snack break concluded, we returned to the playground, I followe Charlotte as she inspected the play structure, climbiong the steps and sliding down the slide, I made sure she stayed safe as she played. By the time it was time to leave I was feeling more like a mom than I have since Charlotte's birth, she and I don't go many places just the two of us, so it was wonderful to spend time somewhere just us girls anf wonderful to know that I am, infact, fully capable of taking care of my child on my own, with some help, it takes a village after all!