Envy

Since this whole thing has happened I have tried very hard to resist the urge to be envious of others, last night I lost that battle, every so often I see pictures on that magical website we all love, Facebook of a new mom resting comfortably, happily glowing with her new baby and that demon named Envy starts growling from deep within me. I think about new moms and, of course I am happy for them, but there is a part of me that always thinks, "I hope they know how lucky they are as they carry their babies in their two arms and I hope they never take a single hug for granted. I am still angry that I was robbed of all of the things that I wanted to do as a new mom and, unfortunately I have hard time not being jealous of others who have the priveledge of caring for their newborns. This morning at breakfast I was bemoaning my fate and Matt swooped with the save:"Some women die having their babies, some babies die while they are being born, you're lucky that neither of those things happened, so stop feeling sorry for yourself." Duly noted. As I was sitting on the floor, watching Charlotte examine her toys I felt so lucky that I get to observe her as she learns about the world, and I can only hopr that every other parent in thr world feels as lucky as I do when they spend time with their kids.