One of Matt and my favorite pastimes pre-stroke was sitting in front of adult Swim, watching cartoons as I braided his hair, I was working on mastering the art of french braiding, so I could do it for my daughter someday, I was getting pretty good at it, then this happened...damnit.Matt made up a word for this action, me playing with his hair, it is muzzah, now that I can only use one hand for muzzah we have now moved onto brush-za, so I brush his hair for him now.
Yesterday I fell into the downwars spiral of self-pity and anger that I discovermyself in on occasion. As I drug myself upstairs to go to bed, I found myself cursing this fucking stroke for taking my life away from me. My bitter resentment was bubbling over, pouring out of myears, how dare life take everything that was good in my life away from me? The first great job I had, my awesome marriage, my full functional body.
Then, this morning, as usual, Charlotte changed everything. Our little family has a neat little morning routine, we all gather in our bedroom, Charlotte eats the oatmeal Matt makes for her, she and I cuddle on the bed and we watch King of the Hill on Netflix, the opening theme music is Charlotte's favorite thing right now and we do that rill Charlotte is ready for Morning Nap. This morning, Matt left the room to take a shower, so I got down on the floor and hung out with Charlotte, we just sat there for awhile, then she found the brush I had been using for Matt's brush-za, she started brushing her own hair, which was pretty cool, then she started brushing mine! I looked into her beautiful face and saw the kick she was getting out of brushing my hair and I was so thankful to be there with in that moment, because, let's be honest, I could have easily dropped dead the day she was born, but I didn't, I got toe be here so Charlotte could brush my hair. Gone was my seething resentment, history was my self-pity. Thank goodness fot my delightful little 14-month-old!