Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Questions Answered

Today a frequent reader and commenter posed some interesting question in a comment that I wanted to address:"How are things with Matt during this time? He's seems like he's been nothing but loving and supportive and wonderful (which is what he should be), but how has all of this affected you guys?  What kind of things have you learned, or how have things changed in your dynamic?  "Matt is dealing with everything the way he normally deals with things; He is a remarkably level-headed, rational and loyal person, I don't think not helping me has ever crossed his mind, this is what he's supposed to be doing as far he's concerned. But I think it is diffucult for him because he's watched me change so drastically as a result of the stroke, my brain just doesn't work the same way anymore so I react to things differently, live my life diffrrently, I'm not quite as vibrant or confident as I used to be and I think he misses that part of me, but he and I feel that person is starting to resurface again and now that my voice is starting to sound like my voice agsin, I thik he feels better, I know for awhile there he was scared to death that the woman he married would never come back, but with time I am and I reassure him that I will be back some day, ready and rarin' to go!My stae of mind these days is in large part to Matt kicking me in the ass everytime I attempted to throw a pity party for myself, he constantly reminds me how lucky I am and how important it is to stay positive andhow important it is to keep hope alive. The thing I love the most about Matt, although it infuriates me most of the time, is his ability to call me on my bull shit anytime I'm ready to give up on something either due to fear or lack of self cinfidence he talks me through it so I don't give up, ever! And as far as how this has changed our relationship, I think we appreciate each other more than we did and we certainly learning to have more opatience with each other and he has blossemed as this experience has unraveled as a wonder ful caregiver and father, I truly believe this was his destiny and am so thankful everyday for his calm, comforting solid prescence in my life, I never could have made it this far without his support.


  1. Do you Matthew, take Elizabeth to be your lawfully wedded wife, to share your life openly, standing with her in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease, to cherish and love forevermore?
    (Matthew) I do.
    Do you Elizabeth, take Matthew to be your lawfully wedded husband, to share your life openly, standing with him in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease, to cherish and love forevermore?
    (Elizabeth) I do.

    When the two of you spoke those "I do's" to me, I had no doubt then that you meant it. You were both friends as well as partners. I saw how you each looked at each other. I rejoiced with you when hearing of your pregnancy, and wept when I heard of your stroke, while praising Charlotte's healthy birth. Marriage is a huge leap of faith, but all of life is. Our days are not promised and the ones given vacillate between playful and frustrating. We each are given our "cross to bear", and you two carry yours better than most.
    Love to you~

  2. Thank you so much for answering my questions. I really enjoy reading about your recovery, but it's also nice to see how this very personal aspect of your life--your marriage--is flourishing during this time as well. I loved reading all of that; I am so glad that this process has helped to change you both for the better, and that you are able to grow even closer because of it. That picture of you two is lovely. So thank you for opening up and sharing this intimate part of your life. I just wanted to make sure you have the phenomenal support system you deserve. :-) You guys keep on loving each other and everything will work out just fine--I wholeheartedly believe that.

  3. What a beautiful tribute - not just to your husband, but to your marriage as well.