Monday, April 2, 2012
A New Normal
Five months ago today my life changed drastically. It's hard to believe how far I've come in five months. When I was first in the hospital, in the ICU, I kept begging to leave so i could go to a work meeting. And I wanted to go home so I could watch Superman with Charlotte, Matt had to keep reminding me that I had had a stroke an couldn't just leave. Once I finally understood what had happened I truly thought that recovery was something that would magically happen that someday I would suddenly be back to normal, when I got home, I did some reading about stroke recovery that said recovery was a lifelong process and that scared the crap out of me, because to me that meant I would be stuck with half a body forever, but now I realize that recovery has nothing to do with what I can and cannot do, but it does have a lot to do wit how I deal with my current situation and how I view it. I got a letter from a Feminist Breeder reader who talked about finding a new normal, because things would never be the same again, that was a very hard thing for me to read at the time. because I was still presuming I would pop back and everything would go back, like nothing had happened. Now I am happy to report that I have accepted my new normal, and while I still long for the ease with which I used to be able to do things with, everything does get easier everyday, and it will continue to get better and easier day by day. whether you're a recovering addict or a stroke patient, recovery is a life long journey that only gets better everyday. I marvel at the things that are easy now that weren't two months ago, I bask in the joy I find in my life, five months ago I saw nothing to be happy about, but I am honored to still be here with Matt and Charlotte and myfriends tp be able tp hear live music, see the sun, feel it warm my skin and watch my slow but steady progress an feel the shifts in myself as I grow and change because of this challenge.