I think I've brought up the fact that I'm talker multiple times now, so when I woke up after surgery unable to speak well, imagine my chagrin. I could barely get my words out and people had to put their faces next to mine just to make out what I was saying, normally my boistrous voice can be heard from across a room, I also had a hard time finding what words I wanted to say and I found myself having to chose words carefully to ensure I used the ones I could pronounce, so my ability to express myself, something I am VERY skilled at, was suddenly limited and I felt frustrated. after 30 years of life, I had a well developed sense of self, but between the fog that the stroke left me in and my limited capacity to express myself, I felt I lost that person, so I basically got dent back to square one, trying to find myself all over again. And what I found was unexpected, I found strength I didn't realize I had, resiliency and optimism that I thought might have died from disuse, but throughout it all, I've had this blog. I really started the blog so people would be able to know how I was doing, the outpouring support I recieved was so intense, I thought some one out there might be interested in what I thought, I didn't realize how many people(especially from high school) liked me!But this has been a great place for me to sort through and process my emotions in healthy way, but most of all when I read through the old posts I can hear my voice as it used to sound saying the words thexact way I would have said them, so this blog is really helping reconnect with the person I was and am, so now when I speak to old friends and family members, I no longer feel like a stranger to myself, but I'm becoming accustomed to the new me, and she's pretty cool!
On s separate note:
this article so I've applied to take part in the study, so please cross fingers nd toes for me! Also Charlotte crawled for the first time today while we were in therapy! I cried and felt lucky that I am here to see that wonderful moment, I cried tears of pride for my amazing and super intelligent baby